Ok this is as risky as I have ever been online.  I have been wanting to to experiment with hormones.  I not sure how to put into words how I feel about this.  I am sure at this point that I would never go completely transexual, and yet i want to feel more like a woman.  Its just i have a good job that I can not afford to lose but emotionally i think that I could be happier.  Breasts would be difficult and my family is all large breasted so I think that would be awkward and difficult to hide.  I would love the hips and butt!  but really it is the emotional change that I think would be the most desireable.  My wife has been totally supportive of my crossdressing and encourages it, but this may be too far of a step even for her.  Does any one else feel this way?  I have no desire to lose my ability to function and I know that is a real possibility.  as anyone else gone on a minimal program or even know what I'm talking about?  what about staged doseages 3 months on 3 months off?  This site is local to me so I feel a connection here and would appreciate any feedback. Thanks and
Love,
Amanda

Well I might be able to help you out a little... Now Im not in any way in the same situation as you Ive never been married and I from a young age knew I had to FULLY transition to be healthy, but with that said, Ive been under hrt for bout 3 years now and its not something to experiment with...
Also they are by no means fast acting, so traits like bigger hips and bum will take years to develop to full potential so gradual that you may not notice til you look at old pictures...
But if you arent interested in going full time it may be hard to get a script hormones require 3 months of therapy by a lisenced therapist who works with gender issues before you can start and thats with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria... and on the flip side to that going with black market hormones is dangerous at best! they either dont work or they can serriously harm you even heart attack and stroke...
But dear I hear ya, it was scary for me to even contemplate and I knew it was what I wanted for sure... if you need any more advise or help just ask ok? Im always here and from kc too!

Dear Amanda,

I fully agree the previous answer sent by 'blessedarethedead'.  Take hormones is not a game, it could have heavy consequences on the health and also  on the social and familial life. I have a lot of friends here in France who would have a real breast, hips and at the same time to be able to hide them when necessary. My answer is that this is a phantasm.  I know that they really feel better when dressed but I tell them to continue to dress but not to take hormones without thinking to all possible consequences.

Of course I don't know you Amenda, and you will do what you think it is the best for you. If you think you are a transgender and you need to change life go to a licensed specialist to understand you better and if a hrt is required for you. Here in France it requires a much more longer time  of therapy before to get hormones. For you it is only  3 monthes ! Please don't take hormones that you can easily buy on internet...

About me: I 'm still officialy married and I have a  13 years old son. I have starting my transition 5 years ago and  I'm under hrt also. My wife has never accepted my change even if we still "officialy" live together. She is not a lesbian girl at all! We are now good friends (except about one subject that you  will guess!). I have a good job (as Caroline), social activities (as Caroline) and I didn't lose my friends. Nothing has changed, except I feel better and my new colleagues don't know that I'm born as a boy.

If you like more support just ask and write to me. Have a nice day.

Caro

Thanks to all who responded.  You are all, of course, right.  I had probably had an extra glass of wine when I posted and it all came out.  My life as it is right now is perfect, and I don't know why I keep trying to take things out to the 9th degree.  My wife says this is how I am, I always want to go 100% and take things to the extreme end.  I just need to enjoy what i have and let life take its course. but damn, if I could just get a few curves!
Love Amanda

Amanda,

I'm going to add in my belated nickel's worth. You can see my opinion regarding going underground for hormones on the other post in this forum.

That's not what I want to address here. :)

You said, "I am sure at this point that I would never go completely transexual." Being a transexual is not the action of transitioning. Being a transexual is the inner identification of NOT actually being the same gender as the sex that is on your birth certificate.

Unfortunately with hormone therapy, we don't get to choose which features we do (and don't) get...You could get breasts quickly, and never develop hips and rear that appear feminine.

I also know that the intermittent use of the hormones could really do a number on your emotions and psychological health.

If you do decide that you NEED to transition, remember this, to be in happy relationships with others, you have to be happy with yourself.

Lucas

Do try to keep your wife informed about everything that you do to yourself. I know that it may seem difficult to discuss at times. But she is suppose to be your best friend in the whole world. And this also teeters on being dishonest in your relationship with her.
   No matter how hard it may seem you need to talk more with your wife. I only wished I had what you now have. A truley loving wife who is willing to understand.

josie65,
Thanks.  She is and we do. all the time.  Would'nt trade her for the world.
Amanda

read up on botanical hormons or lucilla sorella femizing secrets now these arnt aproved by the fda and u will get slight breast growth and your skin well deff be softer.herbs such as fenugreek blck coshgesh saw polmeto. ive used these and no one could realy tell. u should be able to function down below if u know what i mean.but it will also reduce your testosteron