Josie65 wrote: I know where you live. Neener neener nee nerrrr.

   yeaaa, and just how do u know that? you are pretty close.

Josie65 wrote: Oooooooh! Hey a mistress on here. Wow your like the first one I've seen so far. I wished you would have filled out your profile more. I so love to find out more about other people and how they manage there time as to being femme.

Please feel free to contact me via direct email and ask any questions you like. I will be happy to shed some light on my fetish world.  My email is  Lexi1ishuntress@aol.com   I look forward to hearing from you

Models and extras?? Wow, such flattery. Stop, don't, stop. don't, stop, Don't Stop!!! LOL

I'm still trying to figure which way to go, this is an opportunity to find something I like doing, rather than just show up for a paycheck. As always, Thanks for checking in on me!

Luv,

Brenda   

yeah my roomie is a f2m tranny from the town i'm going for the surgery,he's going to be coming with me, to do this, and yes, i love going out and breaking jock hearts,.

Josie65 wrote:    Ah bull ship . Your going down there so you can lay out on the beaches and get a tan. Tell the truth girl cuz you know your hot and you just want to make all of the boys drool over you. It's like poetic justice. Like when you were a boy in school and all of the jocks would poke and make fun of you for being weak and not being a jock. Now it's like yiour turn to shine.     I can hear you now saying to them. Who wants to be with you men when I can be with all of the pretty women. You men are icky and stupid. Then you walk away from them tearing them apart as you laugh at them the same way they did to you when you were younger. You go girl. Just be careful and do your research before you get down there. Make sure you have all of your ducks in a row. And above all take someone you can trust like a family member or a loved one who'll watch out for you when you are not able to. You know what I mean?    Know who your doctor is and where you will be staying at. Know your surroundings and where you can go in case of an emergency. Basicaly go prepaired.    And hey write me back if you like. Tell me a whole lot about yourself. or lie your ass off. But do say more then a paragraph. God I love to read what others think. Sorrry but I'm a talker and I love to talk with like minded people. OK take care hon.             &am p;nb sp;   Josie. anna wrote: Josie65 wrote: Hi Anna so how far are you in transitioning? You look very convincing now. i'm almost three years into my change, i'm going to the phillipines in june for the last little bit

Josie65 wrote: Hi Anna so how far are you in transitioning? You look very convincing now.

i'm almost three years into my change, i'm going to the phillipines in june for the last little bit

Dear Josie
      You lucky girl. No I am not out yet, and my wife does not know of Daviolin. I'm getting closer to tell her, but we have such a good relationship I'm afraid of ruining it. I have gone out shopping a couple of times with a nother crossdressing friend of mine. I would wear tight jeans and a loose turrdle neck sweater. with stockings and heels. What a turn on. It's baby steps for this girl. I think I have a picture on my gallery of the outfit I wore. I will check if I don't I will submit it. I would like your opinion of my look. Tell me If I am passable. So to answer your question I guess I am sorta out. I will keep you posted Love.
            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                  Your girl friend
            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                     Daviolin

Josie65 wrote: Hey kid. Yeah I call everyone kid. So does your wife accept you as a she. Or does she even know at all? Heck if I were you heck yes I'd be taking my butt on the road.    Before I came out of the closet I used to drive like 200 miles to the next biggest city to walk the streets as Josie.    Then I found the support from female friends and wa la my secret came out. That felt like a ten ton weight coming off when it did.    Now I live my life as Josie and love every minute of it. So my advise to you is get out and live girl while you still can. Maybe start a support group in your area. But what ever you do try to make your way to the outside world.

Josie65 wrote:     There has obviously been some type of miscommunication between us. I am not mad at you for any reason. I do think that we are both being kinda selfish in that we both expect the other to be there like 24/7, like we don't accept that the other has a whole life out there to tend to and not just this internet thing. I also think that you and I were more meant to be one on one friends cuz I have noticed that we have alot less communication between since we joined this site. I think that we both rely too much on meeting up in the chat room. When I am in there, I always ask people if they have seen you there. Plus, I have been dealing with that gender confusion thing again. Like, people are saying that I look much better as a goth male than female. Just the slightest comments that go against my thoughts and beliefs really eat at me; I am a very emotionally sensitive person. I look in my Yahoo mail several times a day hoping to see one of your super long letters but usually I find nothing lately. To be honest with you, I think that you are a bit jealous of Sonia. I even said that to her last night. I know that her and I have gotten to be very good chat buddies. Oh, and now there is a goth girl who just joined the chat this week and when her and I get chatting, we just seem to roll right over everyone. I really try to keep everyone talking like a group convo but, it never seems to work out that way. You were my first true friend in this crazy TG world and will always be my first choice. Hey! What's this shit about you putting your true identity back into the closet?! You were the one who made me realize that I am only going to be happy  as my true self and you're saying that about yourself; shame on you. You know, you might just have to grin and bear it for a while and hang Josie in the closet to go to work and when you're not at work, have at it. It'll be kinda like coming home to the wife. I told you that I had thoughts of purging and you lost your mind on me. So, really now, come on....take your own advice. Do you think that I never leave Taylor at home? I have come to realize that sometimes I have to make that sacrifice to make a little money. You know, without money you'll never see that transition that you are so desparately wanting. I am truly sorry if I have hurt you in any way or have made you feel neglected. Yes, I can admit that I have become kinda self-absorbed. I did tell you in the beginning that I am a real bitch and that sometimes I hurt people along the way without trying. Also, I have been dealing with alot of shit with that Cynthia thing. I am now in the process of ignoring her for a while cuz she needs to make some decisions about her life like, whether or not she really loves me and where she really wants to be in life. Like this bouncing between me and her hubby shit is just hurting me. I know that she will come for me eventually and that's part of her test. Anyways, you and I are friends and I don't want to you to forget that! Do you hear me? Umm uhh yeaaaa, the daughter telling the mom what to do......ya know.             &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;               your little girl, Taylor    Hey hon I saw you were in the room but you never replied or said anything. God I am so so very sorry if I said or did something to upset you. My God honey your the only one that I can talk to that can keep up with how my mind functions.    And when I say something about your style it's only because I care about you and I'd never want you to end up making a fool out of yourself in public. I also worry that something bad might happen to you. Maybe you can take care of yourself out on the streets. But I don't know that.    My not talking to you for a week is killing me. I get no emails anymore. So yeah I'm lost not having you to chat with. Thats the first thing I look for in my reply log is a letter from you. It's like your on a whirlwind since you've come out. Like now you don't have time for me anymore. And that hurts.    Taylor you have been my tension release here since we've met. I have allot of stress at my end. My mom is always pissed at me for some reason. She's talking of shutting the internet down because of the rising cost. Then she wants to kick me out to boot. I'm still struggling with finding steady work. Yeah I could go back to construction work. But I really hate construction work. I hate being out in the cold weather. I hate not being able to be my true self. My friends are haing there problems and end up dumping on me. Most of my shit is breaking down left and right. And here I sit with no money to fixing any of it right now. Plus I think a collection agency is getting ready to sue my ass for $2,000.00.    So Taylor I am so sorry to bringing you down with anything I said. Maybe I need to just shut the f in up and move on. I don't know. Most of my life has been a total wreck since I came out. And maybe I need to shove Josie back into the closet forever just so everybody else will be happier with me. Maybe then my life will start moving forward. I tend to wonder if I was ever meant to transition. Like I'm supposed to be miserable for the rest of my life.    But Taylor all I am asking of you is to say what is on your mind to me. Put it as blunt as you want. I don't care. Just say something please?...............             &am p;nb sp;                         &am p;nb sp;                  Josie. TaylorT345 wrote: Josie65 wrote: hey kid I'm in the chat room with you. Are you that pissed at me that you won't speak to me anymore? Josie    i'm in their now, read this now

Josie65 wrote: hey kid I'm in the chat room with you. Are you that pissed at me that you won't speak to me anymore? Josie

   i'm in their now, read this now

Hi there hon. Thanks for the nice comment. I wish I felt as young as people say I look. LOL I try to keep my collections from being an obsession but I used to say that about my dressing. Hope we get a chance to talk. Huggs....Val

Josie65 wrote: OK just great Mcafee has an icon covering your pic. God I hate mcafee!!!! Death to mcafee kill kill kill kill!!!!!!

   Ummm uhhhh, it's not like I posted porn pics or something. Are you sure there isn't some type of filter or parental control that you aren't aware of or something?    Lil Taylor

Josie65 wrote: Hey tay I did like you said and went back to like August. But My pc is still very sluggish. And mcafee security still won't let me view your pics. It's like having a parent that won't let me go where I want to. I just want to bitch to mcafee but there is no possible way to contact them to bitch at them about there crappy service. God I just want to see my little flower in her prettiest outfits and they won't let me see you. AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!     Try going into control panel and go into Add/Remove Programs to see if there are programs or apps. that take up lots of space and if you don't use them, uninstall them. When is the last time you defragged your PC? Also, you need to do the Disk Cleanup. Click start, then programs, then click on accessories, then system tools...that's where the cleanup is. Thennnnnn, if worst comes to worse, you might have to format your harddrive and reinstall Windows. Just be sure to follow the instructions. Like it may ask you if you have additional backups to do before format begins; like photos or something. Let me know how you do with these ideas and if you still have no luck, you may have to upgrade with maybe something as simple as adding more RAM. Your CPU speed may be having a hard time keeping up with everything too. So, fill me in and I'll hopefully catch you in the chat or something.   Lil Taylor             &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                   So if you have any other ideas for me to try I am all ears. Ms. Josie.

Hey Josie, I'm fine. No Wally world yet, keeping that option open and exploring other avenues first. We'll see what happens. Thanks for checking on me, and don't worry!!!

Love,

Brenda 

You're silly,... I dont get much oportunity to get on here busy with my band and stuff... If i had the internet at my house it would be a different story, then maybe I could get people to comment or message me more than once or twice a month

   Hey girl I was in hopes that we would have been talking more by now. You sounded so depressed with how the others don't talk in here. And I have so much to say. I'd just love to have someone else to talk to. To hopefully learn and grow from your advise. I myself give advise out all the time and hardly ever get any response back from them. One girl said that I helped push her out the door into living full time as a woman now. Then I started to worry about the power of the words I say to these people. What if something I say to someone gets them hurt. And here I am the one telling them to go be themselves. I sit and then ponder what I am doing. And then who do I turn to for advise when there are so few here that will even say hi back to me.
   I go into the chat rooms and I carry on several conversations all at the same time. It kind of bothers some because they have a hard time following everything.
   God I so hope that you will talk to me. There are so few who will get past just the simple introductions of saying hi.
   I need to ask you if you think I'm doing right by encouraging others to fulfill there dreams and to start living there lives as they see fit. To go out there and be the woman or the man they always felt they should have been at birth. I don't know myself what I should or shouldn't be doing. Maybe I'm getting to deep for some and that is why they don't talk.
   So many are afraid to step outside in the sun. And to feel the light and heat from the sun on there face. They shy away from what is scary and hide behind closed doors. They only venture out  when it is dark so as to hide there cloak of darkness amoungst the rest of the shadows. At the first sounds they hear when out they scamper away like frightend children. They run back inside and lock there doors and start sweating that they may have been caught in the act of being true to themselves.
   Now it takes weeks if not months before they ever try venturing back out again. Each time they get a little braver and go farther out then the last time. And there always thinking that someone is watching from behind them in the dark.
   I used to drive hundreds of miles away from home just so I could go out at night as my true self. Then I would venture out into the sun in a different town. Oh God how I wanted to be back home under the sun. To be able to walk out my front door and scream to the world. It's me world. Come and see me now.
   My big secret came out when I told the wrong person. I was trying to build an army of friends that would help protect me for when it did come out. Luckily I had such an army when it did come out. But even at that it still didn't make it any easier to do.
   Oh God how I cried to want to run back into my house and lock the doors....... But now it was to late to run back. I had gone to far this time. Now what am I supposed to do I asked myself. The thoughts of suicide came to mind. I started thinking of ways to do the big nasty deed. Yes I thought this was my only hope of salvation was in killing myself. Then I wouldn't have to face the world no more.
   Then in my darkest hours a friend came to me. She threatend to have me commited unless I sought out professional help.  She gave me only two hours to find this help. And I went for like five years to counseling. Which all of this did help me so much. I learned to confront my fears and to move on with my life. The fears I felt were only demons trapped in my mind. They are gone now.
   Now with my demons gone and I feeling that I can help others where I once was. I try to help those that follow in my foot steps. The really scary part for me was how close I was to killing myself. So I try to intervein to help those who don't have someone there for them to seek out counseling. I myself have no clue as to when I will continue on with my own transitioning. But I won't leave anybody behind. Maybe I'm here to help others to progress on. Kind of like the person who stands at the end of the slide to make sure no one gets hurt when they reach the bottom. I keep missing out on my turn to take a slide just to see no one gets hurt.

   I hope you can understand more about me with what I have written to you. I can't put it into words. But somehow for what ever reason. I am compelled in teling you all of this about myself. Maybe it's God's way of having me make sure all can slide without getting hurt. I don't know........But I would like to hear back from you. I feel that you are supposed to be my guide. I feel good vibes from you and I hardly even know you. And I so wish I had a name in which to refer to you as. So hon I do hope to hear back from you. Bye and take care.
            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                Josie.

blessedarethedead wrote: well Josie that was quite the introduction! I see youre a talker... So I have yet to meet a real lasting friend from this site but Im hopeing sooner than later.. SO yeah Im friends on here with your friend but I dont actually know her, everyone seems to add me and not say anything ever so I dont know what the point is... Well hopefully we can talk more

Hey can I come over and play too? I wanna ride the horsey. It's my turn.

TsBrenda8 wrote: Hun  it is called a horse and i absolutely love it especally when a man is behind me lol  brenda

   Stop it I know I look hurendously bad. But hey who really cares right. I work with what I have and every once in awhile there are guys that are perplexed as that there not sure if I am a real woman or if I'm a guy dressed as a woman. I also have many friends that step up and ask these guys if they have a problem with me. Because if they do then they have to deal with her first. She even chased three dudes off once. She told them that there was a whole bar full of people there that night that wouldn't hesitate in pouding on them to protect me.
   The bar owners are dicks. But the crowd that comes in are like the best in the world. The bar owners won't let me use the girls rest room. Even though the majority of the women there don't have a problem with me using the womens can. Some of the girls have said they would go in with me just to prove a point. But the owners won't budge.
   I would like to know if you are letting your hair grow out. I'm bald in the middle. But once I put a cow girl hat on no one knows that I'm bald. I save my wigs for the night life. Take care and write me back.


            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                     Josie

danafoxx wrote: Josie65 wrote: Hi Josie....Thank you for the kind words. I have several hair styles but the one you commented on is my favorite too. I use it for most of my day to day dressing. I always did have a thing for red heads. You look fabulous too hon!! Take care....Dana I like you in the white with your hair done like it is

Josie65 wrote: Hi Josie....Thank you for the kind words. I have several hair styles but the one you commented on is my favorite too. I use it for most of my day to day dressing. I always did have a thing for red heads. You look fabulous too hon!! Take care....Dana I like you in the white with your hair done like it is

hi josie i dont know any tgirls except me around here im sure there are some though.i would love to chat too,love marcy

Just happens to be a Super WalMart about 1/2 mile from my house, and I've been thinking about that. Enjoy the music ... LOL!

Hugggs

Can't help in the job search department Josie, as I was laid off from my job last month, so I'm searching too, but I can always appreciate a good friendship!

Kisses,

Brenda

      Hey kiddo OMG I am so damn happy that you responded to my letter. God half the time I type something out and never ever hear anything back myself. Then I wonder what the hell is going on. Like I come on here to these places to learn something.
    I will appologize in advance if I happen to repeat myself as I writer allot. I send out so much mail trying to find someone that is alive on these sites. Wow blessedarethedead is quite the mouthful to say. I do so hope that in time. And hopefully soon that you will give me a name that is much easier to say. It drives me nuts when people try to come up with something clever for a name. Hell what ever happened to names like Sue, Pam, MAry, well you get the idea.
   I always heard that you can say a little and say a mouth full. Or you can say a mouth full and say nothing. So I really don't know where I fit in that saying. But I do hope that you will be kind when you make your assumption.
   A little about me is that I'm off my meds for attention deficit disorder. So my brain goes a hundred miles an hour. And so much shit comes into my mind all the time. I feel that if I don't release it that I'll blow up. So thus everyone gets a book from me when I write. Heck when I'm sitting down with my G/W's well sit and talk for hours on end to where it feels like we have only talked for minutes. And please tell me if I talk to much. I always wonder if it annoys people and that is why they hardly ever write me back. Kristine aka Taylor now asked me to come in here with her. So I did and I started to wonder as to why. I felt like I walked into an empty warehouse. LOL I laughed when I told her that here I went and got all dolled up and to what. To come to an empty house.
   So you can probably imagine my delight when you come back with a response to one of my letters. And let me assure you that every letter is written differently to each and every individual. And yes you can catch me off gaurd at times if I tend to forget about something you've said to me earlier. Lke I said before I talk allot. For me knowledge is power. And girl I'm out to shake things up with society. So far society has been kicking and screaming the whole time I've been out. They tell me that what I am doing is so very wrong. I tell them that maybe God made me this way for a reason. And that reason would be that God wants to flush out all of the so called Christeans that say they beleive in God. And I want to know why they pass judgement upon me when isn';t that God's job to do and not there's. That one makes em really think. They want to fall back on to there Bible but what I tell them throws em for a loop.
   So if I get to analitical with you at any time or just plainly to damn deep in conversation. Please by all means shove something big into my mouth. Yeah I've been told I have a big mouth. But heay my dentist she told me I have a small jaw bone. So there to those ninnies.
   CDers all they ever want to talk about is how to dress up in there living rooms and parade around. Then to go have sex with one another. Sorry but I'm way beyond that stage. I'm about where to go to find shoes and clothes that fit. And don't cost you an arm and a leg to buy them. I also need to know about how to obtain employment as who and what I am. Yep I'm a female that is trapped inside of an Iron MAiden. Yeah like I really enjoy being trapped in this males body. NOT! What I really want to know is who the hell has my body and what are they doing to it right now. Cause I want it back and I mean like yesterday back.
   So hon I do hope that you will write me back and don't be afraid to write me a book if you like. I so love reading what others have to say. Especially if I have to make notes as I read through your letter so that I can make comments to what your saying. I love problem solving. I may not have all of the answers. But I'll definently give it a shot right or wrong. OK I gotta go cause my puter wants to restart. God knows why it runs like a piece of shit anyways. What it needs is a bullet in the head. So I do hope to hear back from you hon. Take care.

            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;         MS. Josephine Pettinger  or Josie for short.
 

well Josie that was quite the introduction! I see youre a talker... So I have yet to meet a real lasting friend from this site but Im hopeing sooner than later.. SO yeah Im friends on here with your friend but I dont actually know her, everyone seems to add me and not say anything ever so I dont know what the point is...
Well hopefully we can talk more

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